When I Knew I Made It
And why the bar keeps moving
How do you know when you’ve “made it”? When all of your efforts have paid off? When you are successful, comfortable, happy? When you have everything you need? When you don’t have to struggle anymore?
Here are some of the metrics I’ve had throughout my life:
When I can pay all of my own bills
When I can afford a car that is less than ten years old
When I own a home
When I have an emergency fund
When I can afford a vacation more than once every ten years
When I pay off my credit card bills every month
When I don’t have to do mental math about my bank balance every time I buy something
When a big expense won’t cripple me
When I buy furniture, instead of inheriting it
When I have an office instead of a cubicle
When my house is bigger than a postage stamp
When I can say “dinner is on us” without thinking twice
When I never have to go back to my parents’ basement
As I check these boxes, I reflect on the time before “I made it,” which feels simultaneously very far and very close. Sometimes, when a big contract falls through or a big, unexpected expense crops up, I can remember very vividly what it felt like to constantly think about the lack of money and try to figure out how to have enough.
I think I can never go back there.
Before I “made it,” financial struggles were such a massive part of my everyday reality that I never questioned whether having more money would make my life easier and make me happier. I’ve also always questioned money for the sake of money and growth for the sake of growth. I told myself that I’d know when enough was enough.
As my husband and I climb the income ladder and move into an upper-middle-class lifestyle, I realize how easy it is to keep getting more to have more. The goal-post telling us “we made it” keeps moving farther down the field, no matter how fast we work. There’s always something to add to the house, a newer car to buy, or a more expensive brand to justify.
A hostage mentality
Unfettered, endless economic growth is the critical metric for healthy finances at both the individual and collective level. Our ability to quit working is literally tied to the economy growing unchecked because our retirement funds are invested in a market that measures success by one metric, growth.
“Doing our part” for the economy means always earning and spending more and thinking of corporate bottom lines as just as important as our own. This is how bailouts are justified for huge companies when the average American is left to fend for themselves—they’re too big to fail and we’re too small to matter. This system holds our bank accounts, mindsets, and futures hostage to a consumer mentality.
The sky’s the limit
One of the amazing and problematic things about working for yourself is that your earning potential is unlimited. I don’t have to wait for someone to recognize my talent and give me that big promotion, apply for that new job, or win the lottery—I can earn as much as I want as long as I’m willing to work for it.
This is one of the main reasons I decided to go out on my own, to define worth for myself and make my earning power completely dependent on my ability to deliver. It also means that I can choose to work more and make more whenever I want. This can be a slippery slope and leads many entrepreneurs to an addictive relationship to wealth for the sake of wealth.
Mo money, mo problems
Research shows that once you meet a baseline level of livable income, the relationship between money and happiness seems to level off. I’ve reached a place where we’re more comfortable than we have ever been, and while I can say that my life is easier than it was when I was struggling financially, I can’t say it is definitively happier.
Happiness is complicated and clearly, money is not the only factor, but when you have to save for each big purchase and wait for each vacation, they bring more joy than if you can do it at the drop of a dime.
I’ve also realized that having more gives me more to worry about. When I lived in a rented 500-square-foot apartment, drove a beater, and my best clothes came from Target, I didn’t worry much about my stuff. As we accumulate more things of value, I spend a lot more mental energy on the upkeep and protection of material things. The more you have, the more you have to lose.
Some things never change
When I compare the “before I made it” with the after, there is one thing that hasn’t changed; the aspects of my life that truly bring me joy and that I value above all else are the people, pets, and experiences.
“The need for connection to nature, the need to love, play, and create, the need to know and be known – none can be satisfied by buying more things. We are attempting to our need for the infinite through the accumulation of more and more of the finite. It is like trying to build a tower to heaven.”
- Charles Eisenstein
Money has changed my life for the better…so far, but I have to watch it like a hawk every day to make sure that it doesn’t make me forget what matters. Ultimately, money has no bearing on the fundamental things that make me happy. If I lost it all tomorrow and went back to the “before times” I would be more grateful to go back to that 500-square-foot apartment, as long as my family and dogs were there to go with me.
© Sarah Duran 2022
Find out more about me and my company, Fruition Initiatives, here.
Image by freestocks from Unsplash
The Obvious Disclaimers…
This information is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as, and shall not be understood or construed as, professional advice. What you decide to do with this information is up to you and all repercussions are on you.