Freedom is a Slippery Slope
Once you raise the bar you can’t accept anything less.
Before I worked for myself, I felt controlled by circumstances instead of controlling them. Most of my time was controlled by how others wanted me to spend it. My money was controlled by what others thought I was worth. My work was controlled by others’ priorities and values.
Let me be clear. I’ve had amazing jobs that genuinely allowed me to make a difference in the lives of others. I’ve worked for amazing people who pushed me to grow my skills as an employee and a human. But it was never on my own terms, and no matter how many boxes I checked working for other people (flexibility, money, autonomy), I never felt truly free.
I had no idea that there was another way.
I thought the only path toward the “American dream” was playing their game and climbing the ladder according to their rules. I never considered working for myself as a viable option.
But ultimately, I knew that the system was suffocating me, so I leapt. I quit what, on paper, was the best job I had ever had.
I started doing contract work as a stop-gap as I tried to figure out my next thing. I never wanted to work for myself. My parents have owned their own business my whole life, and I told myself growing up that I never wanted that. They have been very successful, but I also saw how stressful it was weathering up and down markets, being responsible for other people’s livelihoods, and working all the time to make sure everything was running smoothly.
After a few attempts at careers, partnerships, and other ventures, I realized that, like my parents, I actually couldn’t work for someone else. Not that I couldn’t have made it work; I had plenty of opportunities to partner with great people on what would have been lucrative and exciting work. I realized that, in working for someone else, I would still be ceding control of my time, work, and life. I’d still be letting others make decisions about what I was worth.
I realized that operating within traditional systems of work would never get me what I wanted. I couldn’t play the game of incremental raises, performance reviews, office politics, pointless promotions, and warranted terminations framed as resignations.
I had to step outside that system and build a framework that allowed me to rely on my value and competence. A framework that gave me the flexibility to control my time and income and take on diverse work that kept me engaged.
Little did I know that deciding to work for myself was just the beginning.
Freedom 101
Traditional employment conditions us to be dependent.
When you work for other people, they take care of you. Your paycheck goes into your account and has already been taxed, your 401K has increased, and your company has even covered life insurance. That nice HR person reminds you of the deadline for open enrollment. The corporate attorney handles that cease-and-desist order. Your manager sets your goals and “develops” you to reach them.
Traditional employment also conditions us to be like everyone else, to fit into a pre-defined role and then conform to their definitions of success, tactics, methods, timetables, and motivations. The company defines the work; the employees do it.
Operating inside a well-defined box that others maintain seems like a safe bet. A bet that most people rely on.
Some people choose something different or, if you’re like me, accidentally discover the incredible freedom and flexibility when you start having agency over your work.
You’re doing more in less time because you’ve eliminated all the slack associated with organizational bureaucracy.
You’re more motivated to DO because you’ve chosen what to do and the conditions under which you do it.
You’re getting paid more for your time because you’ve zeroed in on your expertise and eliminated the redundancy that comes with bloated organizations (AKA you’re making bank and still charging less than a “company” that does what you do).
Is there still shit to figure out? For sure, but you’re here for it because you’ve seen what’s possible, and YOU own the results.
The gateway drug
Once you establish this baseline level of freedom as a freelancer, you start to realize that “freelancing” is just the beginning.
“Freedom is the precondition for acquiring the maturity for freedom.”
- Kant
To a certain extent, every time a client hires you, they’re still dictating the terms of engagement; they’re still telling you what to do.
This is when you start to lean further into the expertise you’ve built as “just” a freelancer and start guiding your clients through a process of understanding what they need, leading to better, more impactful results.
Instead of them telling you what to do, they’re paying twice as much for you to tell them what to do.
By then, you’re addicted
At this point, you’re living a dream that most others don’t even know is possible. Whether it’s time, money, flexibility, or fulfillment (hopefully all of the above), you’ve seen what’s achievable when you have full agency over your work.
This is where you cross over the point of no return.
You’ve taken the metaphorical “red pill” and now look at things differently. What used to seem like a safe bet now feels incredibly risky. What used to fill your cup isn’t enough. What used to feel like impact seems hollow. What “work” looks like for everyone else feels suffocating.
You’ve raised the bar for yourself and now can’t accept anything less.
“It is an internal sense of satisfaction to which, once we have experienced it, we know we can aspire. For having experienced the fullness of this depth of feeling and recognizing its power, in honor and self-respect we can require no less of ourselves.”
- Audre Lorde
You’ve built the damn thing, done something that most people can never do, and still…you want more. The more freedom you gain, the more freedom seems possible.
What that “more” manifests as is different for everyone.
For some people, it is a dedication to a broader mission—increasing the impact of their work.
For some, it is creating their own content, their own brand, putting their name on the work instead of only operating in the background.
For some, it is pushing the limits of the time/money axis by becoming ever more focused on what they do and who they serve so that they become increasingly specialized and, therefore, charge an incredible amount for their expertise.
For me, it fell into all of these categories. I wanted to help more people achieve freedom through independent work. I also wanted to make more money with less effort. I also wanted to be the best at what I did by making it as specific as possible to the people I worked with.
The level of freedom you’ve already achieved has not only opened your eyes to the possibility of even more freedom but also given you the capacity necessary to reach for more. You can take what seems like bigger risks to those who still exist inside the system because you know what’s possible and trust your ability to achieve it.
Does this mean that you’re always “succeeding” at every venture—definitely not. It means you’ve learned how to define success on your own terms instead of letting someone else define it.
I didn’t just find a better way to achieve the “American dream;” I redefined what that dream looked like.
Freedom is a slippery slope that only creates a desire for higher freedom. This is why society wants us to stay inside well-defined boxes; if everyone knew what was possible, we wouldn’t need them to tell us what to do.
Imagine what we could achieve if that were true.
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© Sarah Duran 2023
The Obvious Disclaimers…
This information is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as, and shall not be understood or construed as, professional advice. What you decide to do with this information is up to you and all repercussions are on you.