Four Ways to See Past Fear
The Rundown – February 2022
This is the monthly rundown. If you’re new here, this is a monthly compilation of strategies and resources. Make sure to read through to the bottom, where I give you curated resources for hustling smarter, not harder.
Fear is a slippery thing. In its most straightforward form, fear manifests as outright terror—panic at the possibility of a perceived outcome. Fear can also present itself as apathy, indecision, and indifference in its more subtle forms.
Earlier this month, we talked about how the pressures of the myriad global crises created an inescapable crucible where we were forced to think about our day-to-day and if it was giving us what we needed. This shock pushed us past the more subtle forms of fear.
Simultaneously, a series of pandemic relief measures allowed millions of people a brief reprieve from their daily struggle.
No matter how you feel politically about those relief measures, the inescapable truth is that they gave many a glimpse of what life was like on the other side of their most basic fears for survival.
The universe simultaneously gave us a reason to question everything and the space to do it.
This combination activated both the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems. The sympathetic nervous system is your “fight or flight” response, the part of you that reacts quickly to perceived threats. The parasympathetic nervous system is your “rest and digest” system, the part of you that thinks critically, weighs options, and sees possibilities.
The “fight or flight” impulse caused us to reconsider our assumptions in the face of a crisis. The prolonged isolation, combined with a bit of financial freedom, allowed us to “rest and digest”—to really consider what we wanted.
That combination of pressure and space opened up possibilities that people had never considered, like quitting their jobs and starting businesses in record numbers.
How do you deliberately engineer that pressure and space so that you can part the curtain of your struggle for just a moment and see past fear to new possibilities?
Here are a few ideas.
Pressure: Get rid of your safety blanket
So many people want something different from what they have—be that a job, a relationship, or a living situation—but they never leave the thing they’re complaining about because it is easier to stick with the status quo, even if it is borderline-miserable. Getting rid of your safety blanket forces you to try something new because you have no other choice.
An example for my freelancers in the audience. Say you have a client you hate working for, but they pay well and are a significant part of your income. You have no incentive to find new clients if you stick with that one. If you had to find new clients, you could, so what’s holding you back? Your safety blanket. Fire that client and force yourself to find new ones.
Space: Take a longer view
When you’re struggling you can only see right in front of you, you can only do the next right thing. You can’t see the forest for the trees.
If you can take a moment to see farther out than the day-to-day, you’ll often find it can open new doors or close doors on things you need to leave behind.
For example, maybe you can survive your soul-sucking job tomorrow, but what does it look like when you think about looking back in ten years and realizing that you spent a third of your life (the amount of time a 9-5 employee spends at work) doing something you hate?
An example on the positive side…You don’t get to take that weekend trip you wanted, but that $1500 you would have spent will be just enough to pay for your graphic design certification to go out on your own.
Pressure: Think twice and then DO
I always prefer action when choosing between sitting still and moving forward. On the one hand, this impulsiveness can lead to bold ideas that falter in their first stages and sometimes fail. On the other hand, I’m exposed to various opportunities and options that I may never have found if I overthought my ideas instead of acting on them.
Whereas my natural inclination is to act (which sometimes gets me in trouble), I see many people who never act because they are too comfortable with the status quo.
Thinking twice is essential, and I have learned to force myself to pause before I do something on impulse. This has served me well in minor instances, such as stepping away and then re-reading an email before I send it, and in significant ways such as doing more research before investing in something new.
If your natural inclination is to think twice (or think forever and never do anything), consider prioritizing action over contemplation. Give yourself the permission to think twice, or even thrice, and then DO.
Space: Remove yourself, even temporarily, from the struggle
We are all products of our environment and slaves to our habits. We often build up patterns of survival when we’re dealing with stressful situations. When those situations are your day-to-day reality, those patterns become your standard, and you can’t escape them without disruption, a shock to your system.
Whether it’s never having more than a few hours a week to yourself, sleeping only a few hours a night, or never being able to pay off your credit card bills. When you get accustomed to stress regularly, it becomes normalized, and then you accept that it can’t change; it just is what it is.
If you can remove yourself from the pressure for just a moment, you’ll see that what you’ve thought was normal isn’t—the struggle isn’t the only option.
Some examples here might be taking an extended vacation, taking a break from a toxic relationship (with a person, substance, or social media account), or pausing your financial struggle temporarily (e.g., consolidating debt or living with your parents for a year).
If you can see past fear, even for a moment, a whole new world of possibilities will present itself. To take advantage of these possibilities, you have to know what you want.
Do you know what you want?
Watch your immediate answer.
Pause.
And really think – what do I want?
Most of us don’t know and don’t spend the time to figure it out, which hinders us from getting it.
Luckily in March, we’ll focus on knowing what you want so you can get it.
The Rundown February 2022
What I’m Reading
In Principles for Dealing with the Changing World Order, Ray Dalio takes a long view of world history and upheaval to uncover patterns in political and economic cycles. Dalio has led the largest and best-performing hedge fund in the world for the last forty years, so he knows about markets. This book takes the economic view and combines it with a broader historical perspective on the world’s most prominent civilizations for the last 500 years. The result is a pattern model that shows repeating conditions that lead to the rise and fall of nations.
Spoiler alert, the outlook isn’t great for the US in the next decade or so, but taking the long view can help us see past the current struggles and prepare for what’s to come.
"One's ability to anticipate and deal well with the future depends on one's understanding of the cause/effect relationships that make things change, and one's ability to understand these cause/effect relationships comes from studying how they have changed in the past.”
—Ray Dalio, Principles for Understanding the Changing World Order
Resources
Free Workshop: I’m facilitating a three-part workshop for the Freelancers Hub in March where I’ll teach you to design work that serves your life with goal-setting strategies for the journey instead of the destination. Click here to learn more and sign up.
Article: Money Behaviors to Make You (Stupidly) Time Wealthy
Article: Your “invisible work” is key to your most productive self
Hustlers in the News
© Sarah Duran 2022
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The Obvious Disclaimers…
This information is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as, and shall not be understood or construed as, professional advice. What you decide to do with this information is up to you and all repercussions are on you.